So after a year, finally I arrived in Mumbai, India.
Here’s the unseen story, up and raw:
From the moment we sat in the taxi for the Dubai airport, till the time we reached the airport, till we passed all immigration formalities, till we entered the plane, till we took off, till we were mid-air, till we landed in Mumbai, (and so on) … My mind was still stuck on my “important stuff” left back there in Dubai.
With half my stuff left behind, I struggled through every minute, that reminded me of my flight to Mumbai. I had no motivation, no intention to go. I remember, until an hour before we left for the airport, I was still thinking so deeply of how it would feel to be so away from my important things (priority, relations) that I’d be leaving behind in there… I was just not excited to get up and get ready. Most people (including my dad) may counter me, saying that the world is a small place, we can connect with each other virtually using the internet or perhaps over a phone call.
Let me answer.
First, the mind is a dangerous thing. The heart is even a step ahead. When they both decide to be adamant and ziddi ufff then God bless your efforts to control your emotional outbursts. *laggayi *. They both conspire to behave like kids and refuse to understand, eventually making you feel down, and then no positivity in the world can lift you up. Agar aap waise hi emotional bande ho, tab toh aapki khair. Secondly, in such circumstances, who has the patience to wait for the Indian internet connection to start, or to lighten mom’s purse to get a heavy recharge for an international phone call? Idhar unka purse halka hua, udhar unki awaaz bhaari hogayi samjho.
Ah I felt so incomplete, so upset and unhappy. But I knew I had to, just had to go. The harsh thought that physically you’re going to be away, is too much to handle. As the plane got closer and closer to its destination, it felt I was going far and farther from mine.
My heart, my concentration, my attention, my thoughts, the other half of my soul… all were left in Dubai as I proceeded to Mumbai. Ouch*
And that’s how I left a part of me behind
I think this is what happens when you get so attached to the place, to its people, and most importantly to YOUR people there… your friends and special someones. It’s a killer feeling, man.
Writing with a lost mind and dull heart,